Story Time Sunday | "I'm super indecisive!"

Story Time Sunday | "I'm super indecisive!"

For this weeks Story Time Sunday I am going to talk about something I'm bad at, making decisions!

"Time doesn't wait. Indecision will only let opportunities slip by. Pick a path and walk confidently with your heart behind every step."

Most people who know me personally already know this and it's something I honestly joke about and "brush off" frequently but in reality it really does bother me.

I was just talking about this during my massage last Friday. My massage therapist says I'm one of the most tense people she has every seen.

She was asking me why if it was because I just don't know what I want.

That is not the case. I am very clear on what I want in each aspect of my life.

I know what kind of message I want to spread.
I know where I want my life to go career wise.
I know who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I know what things I like and what things I don't like.
I know my favorite color is pink.
I know I have road rage.
I know I'm a terrible liar.
I know I have a hard time being "mean" to people.
I know I love being home.
I know I like being a morning person.
I know I'm always early to everything.
I know who I am to the core, at least I'm in the process of doing so.

So we crossed that one off the list and I told her I think it just has more to do with me just being so afraid to make a mistake.

I've always been afraid of that. I've always been afraid of letting people down. I've always been afraid of disappointing those I love.

Honestly what I think it comes down to is that because I am so afraid to make the wrong decision, it's easier for me to just have someone make the decision for me. That way if it was the wrong one it wasn't my fault.

Unless I'm 100% sure of one or the other, I struggle to decide.

Just yesterday Devin and I got out to enjoy the 64 degree weather (that's a heat wave for February in Pennsylvania). We went to dinner at one of our favorite local restaurants. Like normal, I struggled to decide what to eat. This is an argument that Devin and I have on the daily haha. I ask him what he wants for dinner and he says, "I don't care, just make something." (insert eye roll emoji) I know to most people that's a nothing thing but to me it stresses me out because it feels like I'm being put on the spot and my mind goes straight to - What if I make the wrong decision?! Hello, anxiety! I know you're probably thinking, what's the worst that could happen? If you think that way then that's awesome, I'm so glad you don't understand my pain haha!

Anyways, I couldn't decide between boneless wings and a flatbread so I made the waitress decide for me.

You see, most times its not a serious situation and that's what makes the least sense to me. You'd think it'd be like I can't decide whether or not to buy a new car or something like that.

I have been working on this. I have been working hard to build up my self-awareness so that I am able to understand why I struggle so much in this area that way I can change it.

Does that sound bad?

#perfectionistprobs?
#overthinkingprobs?
#worrywartprobs?

I want to know: Is anyone else like this? Please tell me I'm not the only one.

*Stay tuned for next weeks Story Time Sunday at 7:30 pm EST over at Facebook.com/RachelFaulFitness