Self-Awareness Saturday | Signs You're NOT Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Saturday | Signs You're NOT Self-Aware

Being self-aware will bring out the best in you and those around you. It can improve the way we think and the way we reason which leaves a great skill for better relationship outcomes. One thing that great leaders all have in common is self-awareness.

Developing self-awareness takes lot of work and the willingness to be totally vulnerable and honest with yourself. The truth is that there are tons of pathways people take to avoid confronting whatever it is they don't want to confront. It’s scary, it’s uncomfortable and sometimes it’s not at all what we want to hear. So how do you know just how much self-awareness you already have?

Here are some signs that you are NOT self-aware:

You're a “bully.”

We all have emotions or else we wouldn’t be human, right? Our feeling, emotions and reactions to thing say a lot about our personalities. Anger and aggression are signs that you feel threatened or scared. You get offensive and “bully” to guard something deep within you, something you don't want people to see which often are feelings of weakness and vulnerability. Ironic, right?

You're often defensive.

Let’s say you received some objective feedback that did not support your opinions. This is the person who, instead of listening coolly to the information that is being offered, jumps right to the defense. The defensiveness is their way of deflecting the “problem.”

You're controlling.

When you act in a controlling way, meaning you micromanage and pick on the littlest of things. This typically means you're not dealing with the big thing that's actually bugging you. You may not be paying attention to what’s really important.

You're in denial.

When you say, "Sure, no problem," then turn around and do the exact opposite, that means you don't want any kind of confrontation. It's a deflection mechanism in an attempt to throw them off so you don't have to deal with something that deeply affects you. This is typically something you're not consciously aware of that makes you feel vulnerable or embarrassed. When you lack awareness of your behavior, you miss the chances to make positive changes.

You often make excuses.

Any kind of excuses are ways of avoiding or repelling negative attention. Pointing fingers and putting blame on others are typical avoidance techniques that communicate our resistance to being held accountable.

If you are nodding your head to two or more of these points, you should work on your self-awareness. It’s a learnable skill that can help you make better judgments and help you have more control over your reactions to events.

*Stay tuned for my next "Self-Awareness Saturday" at 7:30pm EST over at Facebook.com/RachelFaulFitness